Homeschooling has eroded my relationship with my children
When the pandemic started and children started homeschooling, parents never imagined that it would take so long. They were long months in a row, and now, sometimes, confinements of 10-14 days are imposed as a precaution and children must study from home even if they are not sick because there has been some contagion in their classroom and it has been temporarily closed.
When this happens and parents have to become teachers of their children full time, putting aside their responsibilities, it is normal that they feel that something is not right, that they become tense, that they get nervous. But they are not the only ones, it also happens to children.
Home school
A child when he sees how his parents get nervous before his distraction or because he does not understand something and they lose patience with them or they do not know how to explain the contents to be learned, they also get nervous. Also, that listening to phrases like “pay attention”, “do not move from the chair”, “be faster”, “do not get distracted so much”, etc. many times a day is also exhausting.
And what to say about when the emotional blackmail begins so that children do their homework even if they do not understand them. Or when their parents yell at them because they feel helpless when they see that the child does not advance. They are toxic situations that greatly damage any relationship, but even more and in a more dangerous way, the relationship between parents and children.
When children have to make their home their school, it is exhausting for all parties involved. It is not only a physical exhaustion, but rather an emotional one. Perhaps before all this you thought that you had a stronger relationship with your son and now you have realized that it is not like that.
In reality, it is not that it is not a strong relationship in which empathy, assertiveness or conflict resolution reigns. What happens is that exercising these types of roles that do not correspond to you and to which your child is not used, wears out.
In addition, children enjoy going to school, sharing experiences with their peers, and the lack of that is also emotionally exhausting. This emotional exhaustion does not allow them to perform as much as they would like to before academic concepts. When this happens frustration appears and with it the screaming, the crying … your despair.
Change perspective
Maybe you have lost your temper from time to time in these kinds of circumstances, but you really have to change that thought or your relationship will be completely broken. Ask your child what he feels and you will understand that it is not only impotence due to academic content, but also that accumulation of emotions locked inside without being able to express them in any way, causes an anguish that children do not have enough skills to handle during so long followed.
When you talk with your child about their feelings, you will realize that children are praiseworthy, that they endured the time at home better than anyone and that it is normal that in the aspect where a little more was demanded of them (and not always the best ways), the atmosphere would tense.
It is not easy for them to do their homework in the living room, with a computer that they only want to use to play, instead of spending hours and hours in front of a screen and exercises to do. It is a more complicated childhood and they are doing very well.
Also think that your children are children and that this isolation affects them. They are too young to understand or control their emotions, so unstable behaviors are absolutely normal, and understandable.
And being locked up at home with parents for 24 hours is not the easiest thing in the world either … it is normal for the relationship to deteriorate a bit if it is not remedied in time. For this reason, open communication and moments of play and laughter are essential in the days when everything becomes more complicated. Sometimes forgetting academic content a bit and spending time playing together as a family is fine too. Emotional stability will always be more important than getting good grades, and more so when we live as a society.
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